Post
by cobalt » Sun Jul 02, 2023 1:36 am
Are you serious?
Whatever you suspect, I know the following:
I did not do the thing she alleged to the police. We'll let the court service deal with that one.
As for seeming to be "overly concerned" about my ""rights"" to know what the Home Office has determined about me in respect of these allegations - would you not be? Are you seriously suggesting that UK citizens are not entitled to be made aware of what statutory bodies have decided about them? Exactly what is unusual about wanting to know this?
Does it impact on me? Well, let's start with the presumption of innocence. Somewhat tainted I would argue if the prosecution can point to a government department and say, well look here, they've already decided he is guilty. So there's that.
A quasi judicial - at best - a non judicial body in fact, adjudicating on someone's guilt or otherwise BEFORE the judicial process is even started? Yes, that sounds a little dodgy as well!
Reputation, DBS, employment problems, financial strain, stress, yes, they impact on me.
You assert yourself in earlier messages that the DV route is a well trodden one for people who want to circumvent the normal family/spouse visa one; that there are cases of this is uncontroversial. That those people would choose to make up allegations about partners who no longer wished to remain married to them, and therefore who would be at imminent risk of losing their existing visa entitlements, seems to me to be inevitable: they have nothing to lose in doing so. If their spouse visa runs out, they leave the UK, if they make a false allegation and it is accepted by the lower standard of evidence, they get to stay, if they don't get it they go back. It really is a complete zero sum game for them.
And you seem to think that not only is that ok, we should also allow it to happen without the involvement - in any circumstance - of the person who is being placed under suspicion. Who, by the way, is the ONLY person who can repudiate or counter the allegations that have been made against him which the HO would then be able to consider in their decision making.
Let me bring you up to speed on my case. One evening in late May, I was mowing my lawn when 4 police officers turned up at my home - 24 hours after my wife and I had had an argument - and I was arrested following an allegation of domestic abuse. I was processed, handcuffed, put in a cell and told nothing else until 3am in the morning when I was interviewed under caution and told that my wife had alleged I had tried to strangle her and that the charge against me would be non fatal strangulation.
24 hours before that my wife was standing in out hall with the front door open screaming at the top of her voice 'HELP ME HELP ME." The front door was open and our neighbours were having a BBQ in their garden, about 15 m away. My wife has a habit of doing this. Two weeks earlier, when I had tried to get away from her while she was attacking me, and had run into my ageing father's home and tried to close the front door, she pushed the door so hard that she broke the lock. When I stood in the doorway to prevent her from entering his house, she stood on the street and shouted "DAD DAD HE'S TRYING TO HURT ME." Dad is 90 in September, poorly and frail. On other occasions she has texted or called friends or associates of mine and lied to them about me and then later on - sometimes as quickly as the same day - she has contacted them again and retracted what she told them, and apologised. She has written me long tracts of abuse and allegations and then equally long equally impassioned messages apologising for and retracting everything she wrote in the first ones. She has scratched both sides of my face with all her fingers so deeply that I have had four lines of blood on either side of my face and deep gashes that required me to take time off work because there's no way I could disguise them as anything other than what they were. Why didn't I want people at work to see them, or neighbours/people on the street at my dad's home to hear her screaming and accusations? Well, it may surprise you to learn, I was aware that our marriage needed to be a genuine one if we were to successfully apply for the second part of her spouse visa in November, and that therefore it was a really bad idea to take her wildly exaggerated and unfounded allegations out into public. In short, I didn't want her to be deported by her own actions, because - amazingly - I loved her.
And so, on the night in question, as she stood in the hallway screaming, I tried to put my hand gently on her mouth to stop her. In all honesty, I don't even know if I made any contact with her at all, because she immediately started to hit me with both hands. I walked away. Now, technically, that very well may be domestic abuse.
And that was why the police bailed me with conditions which means that for 6 weeks now, I haven't been to my own home, I have't slept in my own bed, showered in my own bathroom, cooked in my own Spam. I haven't spoken to her or her son (or in fact had any contact), I haven't seen my dog (who she never walks) I haven't been in my office from which I work, or had access to any of my personal documents, tools of my job, clothes. It's why I am couch surfing at friend's and family's homes, getting in their way, it's why my DBS now shows an arrest - thus making getting work very difficult. It's why my life has basically come to an end, it's why something as simple as wanting to sit in a favourite chair for a few minutes and do sod all has become like a fantasy for me.
And I know nothing else from that point, except that I am to return to the police station next week at which time, my solicitor tells me, it is most likely the police will extend the bail and the conditions for another 3 months.
So yes, all in all, I think I would like to know if the Home Office deem me to be guilty of domestic abuse. I'm living a nightmare - and it could get worse. I could go to jail. I'm a grandfather, in a small town. That would be lovely for them wouldn't it?
Should a court case take place, I just hope I don't get 12 jurors with your uncanny knack to assume guilt without knowledge of the case, and maybe one or two who share my ever-so-controversial view that people should be aware of what public bodies have on their files.
Good grief.