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I am currenty living in South Africa and I have been married for 20 years to a british national and we plan to move to the UK in March. I have no idea how to apply for indefinate leave to remain. Can anyone help/

You'd probably have to do what we did. I lived in SA for 26 years and am married to a South African. We had to apply for a settlement visa for him (I've got a British passport) before we could move back to UK. Visa is valid for two years and the month before it expires you can then apply for ILR. You'll also have to pass a Life in the UK test before applying for ILR. All fun and games. The settlement visa costs a couple of thousand of Rands and then the ILR application will cost another £850.
Good Luck

SET3.23 What immigration conditions apply upon entry to a spouse applicant?

Four years together outside the UK Rule