I have constant threat from my spouse to cancel my residency card

[aam75]

Hi
First of all pardon my English as I'm not good in it.
I am in uk on spouse visa. Our marriage was held in Jan 2015. I came to UK in Jan 2017 and got my residency card in August 2017. I have two children in result of this marriage.
As I arrived here my wife told me clearly that she invited me to work for her. What ever I was earning she was taking every single penny from till October 2017. Our second child was born in this month and we applied for WTC and CTC after that. Every penny is going into her account of it as she is primary person in HMRC. I cleared to her after October that I will be keeping my wages and spending it on household. I have to pay the rent, council tax, utility bills and everything for the home. She never contributed in it and kept all benefits with her.
My brother died last year but I could go as I don't have any money. His death anniversary is in May and whenever I say I need to go she says that she will cancel my residency card. If I ask her to contribute she says same. She doesn't even like if I talk to anyone in my family.
Whatever I do she is never happy over it and always complain that I have done wrong. She always curse me and my family.
Moreover she said to me if I give her my property from my home country then she will renew my card otherwise she will not.
She has put me in lot of stress that is killing me now. Staying away from kids, even if I just think of it, kills me and she takes benefits of it.
Please someone advice that can she cancel my visa and I have to separate from my kids forever?
Is there any way that I can stay with my kids?
Her mental torture is killing me with every passing day.

Thanks for your help in advance.

[thsths]

I am not sure this is the right forum - I assume that you are on a spouse visa, not an EEA visa? This would make quite a difference to the case.

And it is also not really a visa issue. From what you write, it seems that you are in abusive relationship. There is support available to address this, because it is not an easy issue to address. I would very much recommend that you have a clear look at all your options.

[Casa]

It is a visa issue (assuming you are here on a Spouse Settlement visa). If your wife refuses to support your next application for leave to remain, you would not be able to renew your visa.

However, domestic abuse is not only physical, it can also be emotional/mental abuse. If you have evidence to support this (from your GP for example) you could apply for a DV visa to enable you to remain in the UK and continue to have a part in your children's life. Alternatively, consider a FLR(FP) Parent route application if you live separately from your wife.

https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/s ... ce-v14.pdf

https://www.gov.uk/government/publicati ... form-flrfp

By the way, she can't actually 'cancel' your visa. She can notify the Home Office that your marriage is no longer subsisting, but you would still have the right to apply under another category especially with children in the UK.

Edit: Can you confirm whether you are here under EEA Regulations or as a Spouse under the UK Immigration Rules as the advice above may need to be revised. What nationality does your wife hold

[Obie]

What is the nationality of your wife?

[aam75]

She is Portuguese national.
And this isn't the case that she will support/cancel my visa for renewal when time comes but she always threatens me so that I be quiet, keep earning for her and she controls the CTC and WTC.
Even she said that when time will come for renewal at that time I have to transfer my property on her name for it.
Second thing is how my GP will help in it?
She is actually controlling the finance, not letting me to work on papers so she could get maximum benefit, she is constantly giving me stress over everything I do even if I talk to my family back in my home country.

[aam75]

How can I prove that I'm facing domestic violence?
Right now where I'm working she has her name on the books but I'm working instead of her. I can get the copy of attendance sheet from my work where I'm recording my in and out timing. And I'm working there since I have arrived here on her name though I have right to work but even here she is controlling so that only her tax goes, I don't show my hours so she could get maximum benefits and I always stay dependant on her.
I am facing everything just for my daughter and son. I can't leave them here and go back as she will ruin their life as she can do anything for money.

[Casa]

Does your wife have Permanent Residence in the UK? If not, is she exercising her Treaty rights in the UK. i.e working, studying or is self-sufficient? Studying and self-sufficiency requires Comprehensive Sickness Insurance (CSI) .

Unlike the UK Immigration Rules, an EEA family member still has a right to reside in the UK even if they are living separately from their spouse. You could apply to the Court for a contact order to enable you to continue to share in your children's upbringing.

[Obie]

You need to put an end to this now. If you get out, and file a divorce I believe you will be fine. She cant get you out of the country, she has no power to do that.

What you are currently facing is wrong, by any definition of the word wrong , no one should have to put up with it. If she loves you as she claim, then she would not treat you like that.

No one, should have to face this.

Tell her you have had enough and prepared to put up with the abuse , slavery, and financial exploitation. You will rather she cancels the visa as she suggested than you carrying on like this.

[Jefymum]

Story of my life.....from my experience one doesn't get help unless there's been physical abuse. My EEA spouse even hid/took away my residence card because.....if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have it. I went to police to report it missing and i was just told to re-apply for new one....even afyer explaining to them i knew my spouse has it and all the of emotional, mental abuse. Nearly lost my job as he refuses to help with baby sitting our children. He refused to provide his passport for my permanent residence card application, I submitted it anyway with cover letter explaining why. I understand what you going through. i filed for divorced but he refuses to sign Hope you are able to get help.

[thsths]

How can I prove that I'm facing domestic violence?

Mental domestic abuse is by its nature not violent, and much harder to proof. But you can try to collect evidence, about signatures, about who's name contracts etc are in, where any incongruities appear etc.

As I said, try to find support. The police may not be too helpful, but there are charitable organisations.

The usual recommendation for an abusive relationship is to decide on a course of action, and to plan it well. And when you are for it ready, get out. The reason is that it is very likely to get ugly, and you want to be as prepared as you can.

[Casa]

A charity providing help for men experiencing domestic abuse:
http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/

[Obie]

OP does not even need to rely on domestic violence. He qualifies on one basis already, possibly 2.

[Casa]

OP does not even need to rely on domestic violence. He qualifies on one basis already, possibly 2.

I agree Obie, but I posted the link as the OP may be in need of support that he is not alone in what he is going through. There's often a misunderstanding that domestic violence is only experienced by women.

[Obie]

OP does not even need to rely on domestic violence. He qualifies on one basis already, possibly 2.

I agree Obie, but I posted the link as the OP may be in need of support that he is not alone in what he is going through. There's often a misunderstanding that domestic violence is only experienced by women.

That comment was not in relation to your post at all Casa, even though it was sent after it. It was a general observation. I myself have been looking at it from the DV point of view, and it suddenly occurred to me that she also qualifies under other areas of Regulation 10(5).

[aam75]

OP does not even need to rely on domestic violence. He qualifies on one basis already, possibly 2.

I qualify for what?
Please explain.

[aam75]

How can I prove that I'm facing domestic violence?

Mental domestic abuse is by its nature not violent, and much harder to proof. But you can try to collect evidence, about signatures, about who's name contracts etc are in, where any incongruities appear etc.

As I said, try to find support. The police may not be too helpful, but there are charitable organisations.

The usual recommendation for an abusive relationship is to decide on a course of action, and to plan it well. And when you are for it ready, get out. The reason is that it is very likely to get ugly, and you want to be as prepared as you can.

1. Iwill try to get the copy of the contract.
2. Salary is coming into her account and it is easy to prove with her account number that she is receiving it but will it help?
3. What sort of course of action? I really don't know what to do and how to plan it.
Please help a bit on it.

[aam75]

What if I go to visit my home country and she cancels my visa or ask the authorities to cancel it in my absence, is it possible?
I am asking much I know but you can understand that I don't have resources to get advice from a solicitor right now but I am planing to go to my home country and get some money from there to file my case as I have nothing with me and even for my ticket I have to ask my family/friend from there.

[aam75]

Does your wife have Permanent Residence in the UK? If not, is she exercising her Treaty rights in the UK. i.e working, studying or is self-sufficient? Studying and self-sufficiency requires Comprehensive Sickness Insurance (CSI) .

Unlike the UK Immigration Rules, an EEA family member still has a right to reside in the UK even if they are living separately from their spouse. You could apply to the Court for a contact order to enable you to continue to share in your children's upbringing.

All I know is that she is Portuguese national and was living with her Portuguese national parents before our marriage. She never reveal anything even if I ask.
If I have a right to live after separation then what it should be? Is it ILR or FP?

[vinny]

To put us all on the same page, what is the wording on your residency card?

[aam75]

To put us all on the same page, what is the wording on your residency card?

It says Residence Card.
Type of Permit: Family Member - EU Residence

[aam75]

Hi all,

Please guide me. I can only read replies and write when she is not around. Please help and guide me.

[Obie]

I believe you really need to man up and quit this unhealthy relationship. I have already given assurance that you will not lose your residence rights if you do so.