False marriage

[Obie]

I understand that is the Islamic view of sex in marriage. They believe rape cannot occur. I perfectly understand that view. This is why I advise many friends in middle east that come to UK of the position, which is very different.

If you had sex with her willingly and she never complained then it is fine. But if she told the other party to stop but they fail to comply, then that is illegal. If that is not what happen then the case is bound to fail and no charges will be pressed and a jury will be entitled to acquit you on trial. Objective and subjective factors will be taken into account.

Whiles the investigation is ongoing, you will be best advised not to try in anyway to pursue her removal. You could resist assisting. However if you do anything that indicates you are pursuing her, it may amount to interference with witness, and this may go against you.

The last thing you want is her prosecutor saying , he used her , abused her then tried to get her kicked out to protect his skin. Jury tend to read that negatively.

Take you time and see how the months go. She will not have a residence card or a anything if you handle this proprely. Other wise she will have everything and you will pay a very severe price.

If police find there was no DV she will have no right of residence.

If marriage end before 3 years there will be no right of residence.

If baby born, and is yours, there will be no right of residence unless you the Dutch citizen applies for it and the mother qualifies under Chen.

[in_trouble]

Obie wrote: If you had sex with her willingly and she never complained then it is fine. But if she told the other party to stop but they fail to comply, then that is illegal. If that is not what happen then the case is bound to fail and no charges will be pressed and a jury will be entitled to acquit you on trial. Objective and subjective factors will be taken into account.

This whole process is going to be very hectic, tiring, money and time consuming but I am confident that I will eventually be proven not guilty as I have been extremely cooperative and nice to her have not done anything against the law in this respect or any other.

Obie wrote: Whiles the investigation is ongoing, you will be best advised not to try in anyway to pursue her removal. You could resist assisting. However if you do anything that indicates you are pursuing her, it may amount to interference with witness, and this may go against you.

I have not contact her directly or indirectly and I have not done anything else either apart from informing the marriage curtailment team of the relationship breakdown.

Obie wrote:
If police find there was no DV she will have no right of residence.
If marriage end before 3 years there will be no right of residence.
If baby born, and is yours, there will be no right of residence unless you the Dutch citizen applies for it and the mother qualifies under Chen.

Obie, Thank you very much. Your have really summarized everything very well here.

[Obie]

You most welcome. There may be legal aid available if you encounter financial issues. BeSt wishes for the future.

By the way the curtailment team have no say in EU law cases. They cannot do anything as you are still married. Any advise to contact them is simply a time wasting exercise, utterly futile exercise.

[in_trouble]

Obie wrote: You most welcome. There may be legal aid available if you encounter financial issues. BeSt wishes for the future.

I am not entitled to the legal aid and actually not any kind of benefit or relief whatsoever because of my relatively higher salary.

Obie wrote: By the way the curtailment team have no say in EU law cases. They cannot do anything as you are still married. Any advise to contact them is simply a time wasting exercise.

Sure, I am not going to spend any more time in even thinking about getting a response from them.

[Obie]

Well too bad. Hopefully it will not go to trial. A criminal trial will be costly.

I hope she see sense and drop the charges or confess that she is making it up. For her to be able to do all this within 3 months of residence is strange. Perhaps she may have friends in UK giving her advise.

[Casa]

Have you taken the time to research the grounds for divorce?

How long have you been separated?

How long have you been married?

Also note that if your wife contests the divorce it will be a lengthy process.

[Obie]

Well it will be strange if she contest it. Why will a woman want to be with someone who sexually assulted her. Provided of course she was sexually assulted. A refusal to sign divorce may expose her more and speak volume regarding her allegations.

[in_trouble]

Obie wrote: Perhaps she may have friends in UK giving her advise.

You are right. She indeed has a brother living in UK. I don't know of her exact current address but I have been told that she has gone to that same city where her brother is living. In other words she has joined him. He actually came to see her in my absence just a couple of days before she accused me of all that and I kept thinking why did he not come in the evening or during the weekend when I will also be able to welcome him in the house and have some chat.

Obie wrote: Well it will be strange if she contest it. Why will a woman want to be with someone who sexually assaulted her. Provided of course she was sexually assaulted. A refusal to sign divorce may expose her more and speak volume regarding her allegations.

Correct. By the way, will my applying for the divorce now on the basis that she has falsely accused me be considered as perverting the course of justice?

[Casa]

Have you been married for at least 1 year

[in_trouble]

Casa wrote: Have you been married for at least 1 year

Yes it has been exactly one year now since the signing of the marriage contract. But she actually came to live with me in my family house in Pakistan in Nov 2016 and she came over to UK to live with me in my house in UK in Dec 2016 and left me in March 2017.

[Obie]

Was going to ask similar question about length of Marriage and if OP does not have a family lawyer.

Strange you had wanted to welcome him, whiles he was planning you harm.

Yes OP, I work on lots of Non-molestation order and forced marriage protection order as part of my daily miserable life, so I know how these things tend to work. Many of the cases I work on indicates external interference.

If she has sought a non-molestation order against you, you must be careful how you interract with her.

[in_trouble]

Obie wrote: if OP does not have a family lawyer

Not yet as I have been mainly busy with my criminal lawyer, but will try to find one in the next week.

Obie wrote: Strange you had wanted to welcome him, whiles he was planning you harm.

I had no clue what he came for until two three days later.

Obie wrote: If she has sought a non-molestation order against you, you must be careful how you interact with her.

Why would I even interact with her.

[Obie]

No you could not have known. I was merely saying how vile mankind can be. That you planned them well and they wish you harm.

Interraction can be anything. It can be for example, you have her in a message group and inadvertently send her a message.

[in_trouble]

Obie wrote: No you could not have known. I was merely saying how vile mankind can be. That you planned them well and they wish you harm.

Absolutely.

Obie wrote: Interaction can be anything. It can be for example, you have her in a message group and inadvertently send her a message.

Sure, I try my best to be careful. I actually avoid using that social media at all which she used to use to interact with me at the time when she was desperate to come over to UK to join me.

[Obie]

Well best of luck , watch out for your UK assets as part of the divorce. Take care.

[in_trouble]

Obie wrote: Well best of luck , watch out for your UK assets as part of the divorce. Take care.

Thanks for that. Can she claim anything if she lived with me for just 3 months?

[Obie]

If she says it was your matriage to her and the assistance she gave you that enabled you to achieve these assets, and now she is expecting your baby, that may give her a claim to your assets and possibly a form of alimony.

You are a Dutch citizen, I expect you to know how these things work.

[in_trouble]

Obie wrote:If she says it was your matriage to her and the assistance she gave you that enabled you to achieve these assets, and now she is expecting your baby, that may give her a claim to your assets and possibly a form of alimony.

She never gave me a single penny or contributed in anyway in building any of my assets and I am the sole owner of the house which had bought before the marriage.

[Obie]

But you may be liable to spouse maintenance if there is a child.

If she contributed little or nothing, then court will not award much.

Courts look into a lot of factor. If she say she will be ostracised by her family as a result of the break up . That she will not be able to live a normal life and get married, she will have no home to go to in Pakistan, they will sympathise with her.

[in_trouble]

Obie wrote: Courts look into a lot of factor. If she say she will be ostracised by her family as a result of the break up . That she will not be able to live a normal life and get married, she will have no home to go to in Pakistan, they will sympathise with her.

This is something that she had to say as part of the plan and according to the police, she has already said that she cannot go back to Pakistan because of some honor or shame issue which she has tried to describe to them. This is also probably the reason why police initially thought that it was a forced marriage but later changed their stance because of not being able to find any evidence of that.

[Obie]

She may be correct if her parent disapproves of her behaviour , which a normal family will not be happy with.

Try and find out of there is indeed a pregnancy before taking things further .

[in_trouble]

Obie wrote: She may be correct if her parent disapproves of her behaviour , which a normal family will not be happy with.

As far as I've understood them, I can say with 100% certainty that they are all perfectly fine with what she is doing and they are all actually on the same page. They used to call and text me before. Each one of them has my landline as well as mobile number but none of them have even tried to say anything to me since her leaving up until now. I obviously won't have attended the call but no one is bothered to try my numbers any way since achieving their objective.

Obie wrote: Try and find out of there is indeed a pregnancy before taking things further .

Okay, I'll on Tuesday ask my solicitor to see if he can find it out for me.

[Obie]

Well it is not a good family then. You should not have got involved if they were that bad.

[in_trouble]

Obie wrote: Well it is not a good family then. You should not have got involved if they were that bad.

We didn't have enough time and resources to find truth about the people living in Pakistan. When we eventually found it out then it was already too late.

[Obie]

Life is a teacher. I guess you have learned something from it for future. You must be a young person. Hopefully you will rebuild again and move on and she will regret any wrong she may have done to you.

I wish best and hope this matter get resolved amicably. I hope you have family support in the UK to see you through this. Take care again.