Help! Unmarried Father Does not Want to Lose Parental Rights Due To Sole Responsibility Requirement

[Gussmithy]

Hi, my five-month-old son's mother and I decided to have a child and share responsibility for the child even though we are not in a committed relationship and do not live in the same countries. In fact, I was in a domestic partnership before his birth and remain in one. I live and work in the United States.

My son's mother is on a Tier 2 Visa and lives in the UK and intends to apply to stay in the UK permanently with my son. She currently wants to apply for a Dependent Visa for him. The holidays are coming and she would like to travel with her newborn to America so he can begin to know not just her family but mine too.

As you know the Immigration law is archaic and requires that she have "sole responsibility" for my son in order to get the Dependent Visa.

To "ensure" the visa is approved her attorney has advised her to get a letter from me that says the following:

She has "sole responsibility" for my son.
I was in a domestic relationship before his birth and continue to be in one.
I live and work in the United States.

My fear is that writing this letter will cost me my parental rights in the future if the relationship with my son's mother was to ever turn for the worse. Is that true?

One side of me is saying do whatever it takes for your son and write the letter because technically "sole responsibility is a "test which has been invented for and exists solely in the immigration jurisdiction" and therefore writing that letter could not be used against me in Family Court.

The other side is saying that clearly his mother has the primary responsibility for him, clearly, an immigration offical can see that this 5-month-old boy should be with his mother who is in the Uk legally on a Tier 2 Visa. So, therefore, she should apply for the dependent visa without my letter because common sense will prevail.

Finally, my son's mother's fear is that if I do not submit the letter stating she has sole responsibility with her application she could be denied and forfeit the £2500 application fee. Worse she could travel with him and face deportation when she returns (her words not mine).

I really need some guidance and don't want to make a huge mistake. Thank you very much in advance for your time and consideration.

[CR001]

Are you named in the birth certificate?

Home Office sole responsibility requirement in the link below. If she requires a letter of consent from you, assuming you are named on the broth certificate, then HO will presume she does not have sole responsibility.

immigration-for-family-members/sole-res ... 13087.html

[Zerubbabel]

Hello

I have no answer for you, but I understand your concern and see where you are coming from.

Regardless how you eventually demonstrate that the mum has sole responsibility, this situation may be understood and taken broadly. If you somehow forfeit your parental rights to facilitate an immigration application, you would have forfeited your parental rights for any other purpose.

In general terms, immigration law has been made with a married man/women/kids forming a family and living together. The more you deviate from this archetypal image, the more complex it gets. When it comes to immigration, the lawmaker makes no effort to cater for all situations made possible by the complexity of human nature.

This immigration application is going to raise some unhealthy questions. I for one, with a gun on my head, I wouldn't ask my partner to write a letter giving away her parental rights.

In other hand, you have to be careful to avoid that the failure of this application sets in motion the sour situation you are dreading. I hope that the complexity of immigration laws helps you in finding other options that don't require you do to something you find so unnatural.

[SKJ1984]

Cant you apply for dependent visa along with kid? Is it possible ? If yes then it might cost you £2000 but can resolve this deadlock.

(Am I suggesting something stupid- Its a thought that struck me)

[CR001]

Cant you apply for dependent visa along with kid? Is it possible ? If yes then it might cost you £2000 but can resolve this deadlock.

(Am I suggesting something stupid- Its a thought that struck me)

The op has clearly stated he is and has always been in a relationship with someone else. He would fail on the 2 year subsisting relationship evidence as an unmarried partner.

[Gussmithy]

"This immigration application is going to raise some unhealthy questions. I for one, with a gun on my head, I wouldn't ask my partner to write a letter giving away her parental rights.

In other hand, you have to be careful to avoid that the failure of this application sets in motion the sour situation you are dreading. I hope that the complexity of immigration laws helps you in finding other options that don't require you do to something you find so unnatural."


Thank you for your thoughtful response. I hope so too.

[Gussmithy]

Are you named in the birth certificate?

Home Office sole responsibility requirement in the link below. If she requires a letter of consent from you, assuming you are named on the broth certificate, then HO will presume she does not have sole responsibility.

immigration-for-family-members/sole-res ... 13087.html

I am on the birth certificate. Yes, they will assume she will not have sole responsibility. Which is why she is asking me to claim she has sole parental responsibility. This really seems like a farce to me. I can't believe it has not been corrected by the immigration authorities. My son is only 4 months old and is still nursing obviously.

[CR001]

These rules are in place to prevent child abduction and parental abductions. Many countries have signed up to such procedures to protect and safeguard children.

[btscuk]

Hi, just chiming in with an opinion from the other point of view! I will be in your former partner's situation in a little less than 3 years and am already worried about the difficulty of asking my children's father to sign such a letter, which will be required in order for me to apply for ILR with my kids - there doesn't seem to be any way around it. Our situation sounds quite similar to yours in that he also lives in the US and although we share legal custody, I have primary residential custody as set out in our parenting agreement and the children live with me the majority of the year.

At the time I apply for ILR the children and I will have been living in the UK for almost 10 years and I will have been separated/divorced for 6+ years, all the while maintaining a good co-parenting relationship with their father who is in the US and there is no question of who has primary residential custody. Even in those circumstances, I've been told that I would still need to obtain a letter stating at minimum that I have responsibility for the children's day to day lives in the UK. I am already anxious about this as even if we are getting along, I don't want him to think I am in any way trying to infringe on his legal rights generally and I worry that he may share the same concerns you have expressed here. I can understand why UKVI require it but it is a delicate situation.

I would encourage you to perhaps try to see the other side of this and not refuse outright without first considering the difficult position you will be putting your child and your child's mother in by doing so - perhaps there is a way to make it work or word the letter so you are both content.

I do wonder whether it would be possible for both parents to sign something separately agreeing that signing the letter does not constitute forfeiture of your parental rights for reasons other than the purpose of the letter (the immigration application), but I'm not a lawyer or an immigration adviser so I don't know whether this is possible.

I hope that is helpful.. let me know if you find a solution that makes everyone happy!

[Gussmithy]

Hi, just chiming in with an opinion from the other point of view! I will be in your former partner's situation in a little less than 3 years and am already worried about the difficulty of asking my children's father to sign such a letter, which will be required in order for me to apply for ILR with my kids - there doesn't seem to be any way around it. Our situation sounds quite similar to yours in that he also lives in the US and although we share legal custody, I have primary residential custody as set out in our parenting agreement and the children live with me the majority of the year.

At the time I apply for ILR the children and I will have been living in the UK for almost 10 years and I will have been separated/divorced for 6+ years, all the while maintaining a good co-parenting relationship with their father who is in the US and there is no question of who has primary residential custody. Even in those circumstances, I've been told that I would still need to obtain a letter stating at minimum that I have responsibility for the children's day to day lives in the UK. I am already anxious about this as even if we are getting along, I don't want him to think I am in any way trying to infringe on his legal rights generally and I worry that he may share the same concerns you have expressed here. I can understand why UKVI require it but it is a delicate situation.

I would encourage you to perhaps try to see the other side of this and not refuse outright without first considering the difficult position you will be putting your child and your child's mother in by doing so - perhaps there is a way to make it work or word the letter so you are both content.

I do wonder whether it would be possible for both parents to sign something separately agreeing that signing the letter does not constitute forfeiture of your parental rights for reasons other than the purpose of the letter (the immigration application), but I'm not a lawyer or an immigration adviser so I don't know whether this is possible.

I hope that is helpful.. let me know if you find a solution that makes everyone happy!

Hi thank you for your reply and your thoughtful suggestion.