Help, can ILR be delayed without spouses knowledge..

[Aspin]

I am a British Citizen. I married my husband in 2007 (he was in the UK on a student visa), he is currently on 2 year spouse visa. He is due to apply for ILR in August 2009. However, we have had a few problems. I am actually not sure of my husbands intentions. I think the main reason for him staying with me is to obtain ILR. I mean I am not sure if the relationship will last after he obtains ILR, it might and it might not, therefore I would like to know if it is possible to delay his ILR without my husband knowing I was involved in its delay. You see if I tell him of my intentions I am not sure what his reaction will be. I really do wish for my marriage to work, however, I have this slight inkling that I am being used. Because of the culture I have been bought up in, I cannot leave my husband easily, I mean on a personal note I am willing to try everything to make my marriage work, I have a child with this man, but if I am just being used then that's unacceptable, I have this feeling that there is a possibility that this may be the case, that's what my family and friends seem to think, so I wish not to risk it, I have seen 2 cases in my family where my cousins husbands left them the day after they obtained ILR.By delaying it, I feel I will have more time to get to know what my husbands intentions are.

Many many thanks for taking the time

[batleykhan]

I am afraid if you haven't got any ideas of your husbands intentions after being married to him for nearly two years, then you will never get to know.

The only way you are going to know is to confront and ask him. Sit him down and talk to him truthfully and honestly of your thoughts without making it a 12 round fight.

Please don't listen to what other people are saying. Unfortunately this is rife in the community that you come from.. How do you know that they are not trying to break up your marriage, because they hate to see you happy.Most marriages from the Indian subcontinent break up because of inept in laws and other family members poking their noses in other people businesses thus creating doubts which eventually lead to the breakup

To many thoughts that you are thinking of will just make you a paranoid, leading to depression and your eventual breakdown of your marriage.

Just because its happened to your cosuin's doesn't mean that it will happen to you. Its not family disease that you inherit.

Marriages only work if both parties are honest and truthful about things. Only you and your husband can sort this, and you need to do it fast because you don't have much time left.

I am afraid you can not delay his ILR, and even if you could, would you delay it for a month, a year or a lifetime to find out your husbands intentions.

If you delay his ILR for more than 2 yrs, his visa will expire and then he will become an illegal, and if you do find out his real intentions (that he is being honest) then I am afraid its to late to do something about his visa because it will have expired and he may be sent back home. If you then want him back, then you have to start all over again.

Sorry to be so blunt with you, but I have told you it straight from the horses mouth, because I have seen it so often

[Plum70]

I am afraid you can not delay his ILR, and even if you could, would you delay it for a month, a year or a lifetime to find out your husbands intentions.

ILR can be "delayed" by applying for an extension of the current spousal visa for another 2 years. However, a tangible reason has to be given for this.

To the OP: I agree with Batleykhan; If there are issues of trust in your r/ship then broach them with your husband. If you mistrust his intentions now you most probably still will in another 2 years! However, I would advise that you question why you have your doubts: Are they well-grounded or just baseless fears furnished by 3rd parties? If you confront your husband based on the latter and find out that his intentions are indeed genuine, then you may be laying a precedence for suspicion&mistrust in your marriage.

Do be careful&wise whichever way you tread..

[Casa]

Has he passed the Life in the UK test? If not, you can apply for 2 year extension of FLR.

[batleykhan]

ILR can be "delayed" by applying for an extension of the current spousal visa for another 2 years. However, a tangible reason has to be given for this.

Yeh Plum70 & Casa you are both right... forgot about that. But are OPs suspicion and doubts tangible reasons to delay her husbands ILR?.

[Casa]

Batleykhan...I would just go ahead and support the ILR application, especially as they have a child together.

[batleykhan]

Batleykhan...I would just go ahead and support the ILR application, especially as they have a child together.

Couldnt agree with you more mate,for the childs sake.