WIFE'S FLR(M) COMPLICATED DUE TO V BAD FINANCIAL SITUATION

[urgent-help-please]

hello everyone, i hope someone will be able to help me on my wife's flr(m)'s dilemma...

we have been living together for five years, we had a baby a year ago, had a religious ceremony in 2007 (so she's my wife but we didn't marry in the registery office)
she's been in the Uk as a student for over 6 years, i am a british citizen by birth...
The problem is that i do not work, i've always had my own business but i unfortunately lost it due to recession...
i have been looking for a job for a long time but no luck so far...
we need to send her app. very soon as it ends next mnth.
i get all sorts of benefits i am entitled to (HB, CTC, IS, CB..)and she gets some money from her mum and a very close friend (when she doesn't we just live on what we have and we're happy as long as we're together) ...so third party is involved somewhat, but we don't really have to mention it if it'll make the app fail?

question is, do we have any chance at all?
i have my oldest son who lives with us (he is 12) so they can't really tell me to go and live in her country
i mean we know that we will get a refusal without a shadow of a doubt and we will be appealing...
i am just really worried! i don't want her be stay here unlawfully and i equally will NOT accept that she and my daughter live far from me for an unknown period of time...

please can someone help at all?
thanks very much