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The truma am going through

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Marriage | Unmarried Partners | Fiancé | Ancestry

Moderators: Casa, archigabe, CR001, push, JAJ, ca.funke, Amber, zimba, vinny, Obie, EUsmileWEallsmile, batleykhan, meself2, geriatrix, John, ChetanOjha, Administrator

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honesty
Newly Registered
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Jul 29, 2012 5:55 pm

The truma am going through

Post by honesty » Tue Jul 31, 2012 4:55 pm

Dear every one
This is my sad story : one day my wife had a foght with her and her friend reveal that she is dating two guys and one of she told them that she is not marriage i only come around to see my son and my step daughter her freiend added that when ever she step her feet out of our house she take out her weeding ring after this her family and our God father settle the matter . But since than she has be come aggressive towards me in the house any little aquement she will throw bread nife and spoon at me and she stop contributing towards the house bills she is not working but she is getting the following benefits:emplyment and support allowanc the contribution base. child tax credit , disability living allowance , the disability of working tax credit . Am now paying all the bills rent , council tax, water bill, tv lesing , electricand gas and even food in the house before she wil take part of her benefit enttilement and helps towards the bills. Two weeks ago she went out and she never return back and she switch off her phone and leave me with 18 months and three years old child so her mum report to the police that she is missing after 48 hours and the police track her and able to speake to her she said to them that she is not missing and the police ask her why you leave your young kids with yourt husband she said to them that she wil come and look after them and indeed she come but that day was a night mare for me insult,threathing me and even ask me to leave the house so her mum and our God father come over and settle the matter and told her that what she is doing me is not right . she know am working and she leave the kids so i cant go to work

On Thursday 26 July we went to her Mum and she left and said she wil be back the next one hour she never come back on that day the following day she cal her mum and said am coming for my kids and the mum said u no longer gona have this kids any more coz you ve their interest that why you are leaving them with your husband she called the police and report that me and her mum we are trying to take her kids away from her and am violence towards her the police turn up and found put she always leave the kids for two to three days and all what she said to the police is not true.

The is the advice of the female police :That i should call tax credit and child benefit office my wife she not looking after the kids any more and that the money should be pay into my account

I should apply for projection order and occupation order so she cant come to the houseor get access to the kids for the fact that she leave them with caring about tham and when she come to the house she put distress to me and the kids

Yesterday she come back home and told me that she dont want the marriage any more and should not divorce until my visa expire so i can even apply base on acess to a child and she was even talking to the guy she is dating with and she was moking me in the house saying i can do any thing because am here on a spouse visa

these are my question and doubt:

1,how can i apply to stay in the country when we are not yet divorce and not legally seperated

2, Is this act term as domestis violence as she is abusing me verbal in house depriving of going to work takren the kids money going to club and leave them on me

3,i dont want to take the advice of the police i want the grandma to claim the child tax credit and the child benefit for the kids is going to work in that way

4 can i apply to the court for instant divorce for the fact that we have maried for 23 months with the evidence i got that she is commoting adutery and at the same time abusing me with kids

Please take note of the following this wife am talking about she got learning difficulties and behaviuorer problem but not that serious.

my spouse visa wil espire in eight months time we are in love for a year before we got married i have one child with her who is british and and a step daughter is also british whom am currently looking after while she is away with her new boy freind

plz advice me the best solution to take before my visa run out thanks in advance and sorry for the long writing

honesty
Newly Registered
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Jul 29, 2012 5:55 pm

Re: The truma am going through

Post by honesty » Sun Aug 05, 2012 2:21 pm

[quote="honesty"]Dear every one
This is my sad story : one day my wife had a foght with her and her friend reveal that she is dating two guys and one of she told them that she is not marriage i only come around to see my son and my step daughter her freiend added that when ever she step her feet out of our house she take out her weeding ring after this her family and our God father settle the matter . But since than she has be come aggressive towards me in the house any little aquement she will throw bread nife and spoon at me and she stop contributing towards the house bills she is not working but she is getting the following benefits:emplyment and support allowanc the contribution base. child tax credit , disability living allowance , the disability of working tax credit . Am now paying all the bills rent , council tax, water bill, tv lesing , electricand gas and even food in the house before she wil take part of her benefit enttilement and helps towards the bills. Two weeks ago she went out and she never return back and she switch off her phone and leave me with 18 months and three years old child so her mum report to the police that she is missing after 48 hours and the police track her and able to speake to her she said to them that she is not missing and the police ask her why you leave your young kids with yourt husband she said to them that she wil come and look after them and indeed she come but that day was a night mare for me insult,threathing me and even ask me to leave the house so her mum and our God father come over and settle the matter and told her that what she is doing me is not right . she know am working and she leave the kids so i cant go to work

On Thursday 26 July we went to her Mum and she left and said she wil be back the next one hour she never come back on that day the following day she cal her mum and said am coming for my kids and the mum said u no longer gona have this kids any more coz you ve their interest that why you are leaving them with your husband she called the police and report that me and her mum we are trying to take her kids away from her and am violence towards her the police turn up and found put she always leave the kids for two to three days and all what she said to the police is not true.

The is the advice of the female police :That i should call tax credit and child benefit office my wife she not looking after the kids any more and that the money should be pay into my account

I should apply for projection order and occupation order so she cant come to the houseor get access to the kids for the fact that she leave them with caring about tham and when she come to the house she put distress to me and the kids

Yesterday she come back home and told me that she dont want the marriage any more and should not divorce until my visa expire so i can even apply base on acess to a child and she was even talking to the guy she is dating with and she was moking me in the house saying i can do any thing because am here on a spouse visa

these are my question and doubt:

1,how can i apply to stay in the country when we are not yet divorce and not legally seperated

2, Is this act term as domestis violence as she is abusing me verbal in house depriving of going to work takren the kids money going to club and leave them on me

3,i dont want to take the advice of the police i want the grandma to claim the child tax credit and the child benefit for the kids is going to work in that way

4 can i apply to the court for instant divorce for the fact that we have maried for 23 months with the evidence i got that she is commoting adutery and at the same time abusing me with kids

Please take note of the following this wife am talking about she got learning difficulties and behaviuorer problem but not that serious.

my spouse visa wil espire in eight months time we are in love for a year before we got married i have one child with her who is british and and a step daughter is also british whom am currently looking after while she is away with her new boy freind

plz advice me the best solution to take before my visa run out thanks in advance and sorry for the long writing[/quote]




Dear Senior Moderators and any person helping or me on the question i asked on this board recently about the truma am going through. am a new member and deperately need help on this wonderful board am about to lose my job as am tied down in the house and my wife dont care about the kids for her she want the kids to be taken in a care home by social services as they have step in to safe guard the kids but am try m my best as i love them so much in this world and if i lose them it wil cause me emotional broke down through out my life . I ve spoken to my inlaw that my wife mother to take the kids but the problem is she too is in a full time employement so we are trying to work out things at the same time trying to prove to the social workers that we are capable of looking after them .Thanks in advance for any of my question u wil show me solution or way out .The question are on the topic the truma am going through i dnt if i ve post them on the right section or not as i ve not see any one answer any of those questions.

wenner
Junior Member
Posts: 91
Joined: Sun Apr 29, 2012 1:12 pm

Post by wenner » Sun Aug 05, 2012 3:17 pm

Hello
I am sorry but I am not a senior moderator so I cant advice you, but I will say this: you need to go to Citizens Advice Bureu.I am sure there is someone who will listen and will be able to give you advice.If that doesn't help, go see a lawyer, really.I dont think you are going to get any help on this board, I dont think that there is anyone here who is equipped to give you the advice needed.
best of luck my friend.

User avatar
Casa
Moderator
Posts: 25817
Joined: Wed Jul 23, 2008 3:32 pm
United Kingdom

Post by Casa » Sun Aug 05, 2012 4:45 pm

Wenner's right. Contact your local Citizens Advice Bureau.

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