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UK Spouse Visa - Separation related

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Assist_ark
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UK Spouse Visa - Separation related

Post by Assist_ark » Mon Jan 07, 2013 11:11 pm

Hi there,
Appreciate all the help people in this forum give out. But please forgive me if I go straight to the point.
Ok, so my partner an I are young. We got married. I am here with her. Now, I'm at the stage where I'm being pessimistic about the whole thing. I am working hard to hold this together. We are still together and very much together. But a number of things has happened and I am just confused. Given my all and sacrificed a lot into this and do not want it to end.

Scenario is, partner wants to go on a break (even though we are still married. Who does that?). Well, she plans on moving in with another man. Could have stopped all this, but let it unfold out of childishness. Now, she's not sure what will happen between her and this man, so she does not want to get a divorce at all. At the same time, she tells me, if at the end of my 2 year spouse visa, her and the man are still together, she advices me to change my visa (spouse visa) to a different type of visa (skill migrant). Assuming I would have got myself a good job by then. She says it will be fraud if at the end of the 2 yrs, I try to apply for indefinite leave to remain while we aren't together...fair enough.

Question: Is it possible to change at all to a different visa type? If so, what are the chances, if it comes to that? Will I have to leave the country again to re-apply from outside?

Appreciate all your replies.

Thanks in advance

Obie
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Post by Obie » Tue Jan 08, 2013 12:09 am

Wow, this is not the right way to treat anyone.

You deserved to be treated better. You are a married couple, she cannot go and experiment with another person, and come back to you if it doesn't work. You deserve much better than that i think.

What do you do at present, studying or working?

Are you in a qualified position?



what is your wife's nationality?
Smooth seas do not make skilful sailors

Assist_ark
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Post by Assist_ark » Tue Jan 08, 2013 12:31 am

Well, I am working at present. Just had to get something doing rather than sit at home. It's a part-time job, but looking for something permanent/full time.

By qualified, don't know if you mean job wise or from an academic point of view. I am a qualified engineer (have a degree).

My wife is British.

I know if she decides to go live with that man, there will be no proof for ILR down the line at all. Proof in the same address etc. I am looking to find a job elsewhere. Don't know if this will justify not living together. Just don't know

All help/advice is appreciated. Can not sleep. Put my all mentally and emotionally into this, before and after. Just keep looking back and seeing mistakes that has been made in our relationship. Just scared, really scared. All bloody eggs has been kept in one basket.

Cheers in advance. If it helps,

Obie
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Post by Obie » Tue Jan 08, 2013 12:42 am

Provided position falls under the tier 2 shortage list, and employer is prepared to sponsor you, you may be able to secure Tier2, although that will significantly take you back.

When is the spouse visa going to run out. Is she planning to get back if the experiment doesn't work? In those circumstance, would she be prepared to support ILR application?

http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/busin ... ationlist/
Smooth seas do not make skilful sailors

Assist_ark
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Post by Assist_ark » Tue Jan 08, 2013 4:59 am

The spouse visa runs out November 2014 and yes, she plans on getting back with me if it does not work out. If she gets back with me, from what she is saying, she will suppot ILR. But if she is with him, from what she is saying, she wouldn't. Mainly because this man she is seeing keeps telling her inderectly she shouldn't and she says that's fraud and will lead to jail time. All this is just like a bad dream, honestly. Within couple of months, things are at this low.

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equitydealer
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Post by equitydealer » Tue Jan 08, 2013 9:13 am

Very sorry to hear about your situation, sadly I've seen a few of these recently. Most marriages are not fairytales and there are bad people out there....

Unfortunately you can not switch into tier 2 from a spouse visa, see the link below for valid routes for in-uk switching

http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/visas ... /applying/

You need to take some protective measures.

1) Getting a job is absolutely the right thing to do, build up your own financial independence. Try finding a employer who could sponsor a tier 2 application from your home country, you will have to apply from there I'm afraid.

2) Try and get documentary evidence for future visa applications - bank statements, utility statements etc they will come in useful.

3) If the worst happens make sure you file for divorce before you leave the uk and give your solicitor power of attorney on your divorce case. File for a financial order along with the divorce.

I hope things turn out well for you, if you manage to get ILR move on with your life and find someone else. If you want to live in the UK you will have to apply for an appropriate visa category from your home country. All the best.

Ted
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Re: UK Spouse Visa - Separation related

Post by Ted » Tue Jan 08, 2013 4:09 pm

Assist_ark wrote: Ok, so my partner an I are young. We got married. I am here with her.



Dont be too hasty, most marriages hit a rocky patch now and then, so try not to make knee jerk reactions. Remember you are still married, divorce is a messy business and although married couples can split, and run off with somebody else, most of the time they return to the marriage. You should stay in contact with her and try to be nice and cheerful, you will just have to be patient, try and work through this issue before you involve UKBA, and take a wait and see approach and at the same time show her you maturity as her husband, play the game if you have too.

Good Luck :wink:

Assist_ark
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Post by Assist_ark » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:14 pm

@equiltydealer.
Thanks a lot for that. Checked the list of those that can apply for the Tier 2. It appears Spose is not on the list. Still looking.

@Ted
Trust me, I'm far from being hasty. But the man she is with has a hold on her now, that it scares me. He's got to the point of telling her, it's either me or him. He knows how much she loves him, so is pretty confident. She was actually sayinng indirectly, that I should leave. And we have been through loads. Just can't believe it. Like some bad dream.
I'm all for being patient. But I'm just thinking I should plan for the worse case scenario. Might sound odd, but please tell me the game. Don't know what else to do.

Cheers for that too

Ted
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Post by Ted » Wed Jan 09, 2013 6:11 am

Assist_ark wrote: I'm all for being patient. But I'm just thinking I should plan for the worse case scenario. Might sound odd, but please tell me the game. Don't know what else to do.
Reverse the psychology, tell her you except she no longer wants to be with you and you will support her, because you want her to be happy etc.

Tell her if she really wants to be with the other guy, she will need to get a divorce so she can marry this guy, and tell her you will work with her so she can be with this guy.

Emphasise the commitment that marriage carries, and tell her to be pretty sure that she isn,t just running away from commitment, as the same thing will again happen with this new guy.

Start some kind of cordial communication with this other guy, talk to him and ask why he would want to break a couples marriage, tell him you will go with what ever she wants and you wont stand in the way, just be careful, this other guy want you out of the way and would probably make trouble with you regarding UKBA.

Take control and dont show weakness, be gracious, she will still be confused, and maybe stick with you once this other guy has run his course.

If she does stick with you, go through the process until you no longer need her, then dump the selfish B*TCH, a married woman that goes off with other men with the full knowledge and disapproval of the husband is not worth anything.

Mean while follow other options until your time runs out.

Good Luck :idea:

Assist_ark
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Post by Assist_ark » Wed Jan 09, 2013 8:19 am

Cheers a lot for that.
But she has now made the decision to tell UKBA that the relationship has broken down. She just met this man not up to 8weeks. They work together. Now she is trying to do everything for him, to make him happy. Can't believe it is the same girl I married 2bh. She has just changed. Infact ready to forget about her parents too all because of this man. Leaving her job and finally moving out.
The man is just telling her it is either me or him and that if it is him, she has to end things and just in the name of god me up. To my surprise, she is doing exactly that. She was going to give me 2years to see how things work out. Now she just don't care. I blame myself, I knew when all this started, just because I was scared of making things worse, I did not go against her wishes, which was I should not make contact with the man. She assured me it was only a temporary thing. Now, I wish I took control and not care.
Can't even think straight again. Have an assesment test to write for a job, can't focus or practisce. I'm trying not to show weakness, but couldn't help it, when she told the guy she was definitely following him whenever and telling UKBA. She's just saying now, if I don't want her to go to jail, I'd accept this. All I'm saying in return is to give us time. To work on this and see how things go with the man, some old man aswell. She's just making hasty decision like she can't live without him, crying all the time.
Just don't know what to do. Can't even focus enough to work on the options I have with me.
This is just terrible.

Ted
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Post by Ted » Wed Jan 09, 2013 9:40 am

Assist_ark wrote:Cheers a lot for that.
But she has now made the decision to tell UKBA that the relationship has broken down.
I see. Well you have not broken any UKBA laws etc, and you still have a valid visa, it is not unusual for marriages to go sour in the early stages, Im sure UKBA will give you time to fix your marriage etc, maybe a bit of marriage counselling could help, you can go alone for counselling and keep the appointment slips etc as proof that you entered into a genuine marriage and due to your wife's infidelities your marriage got broken and was no thought of your own, maybe this could help you to be able to stay or re apply in another way.

Try get a job and become self sufficient, its going to be tough for you so use your time wisely, try to focus on whats best for you now, maybe pay a visit to the CAB, talk to somebody there, or maybe others on this forum can make suggestions.
Is your wife a BC? Is she your sponsor, what country are you from etc, you should note these things down on the forum so you may get the correct advice.



Goodluck.

Assist_ark
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Post by Assist_ark » Wed Jan 09, 2013 2:28 pm

Cheers for the reply.

I hope it could help. I will give the marriage counselling a go. I've only just found phone based counselling, still looking. Really do hope her reporting of the breakdown will not result to the UKBA curtailing my visa. From research, it says that is what will happen, although down to discretion. But since I've only spent about 5 months in the UK out of 27 months probation period, don't know how good my chances are.
Right now, trying to be focused. Hopefully I can and hopefully she will change her mind and decide to work on this relationship. But fact that she cries when she thinks she is not going to be with the man makes me very scared. I am so willing to do all I can and I will, won't give up.
Will also give citizen advice bureau a visit. Thanks for that. To answer your question, Yes she is my sponsor and yes she is a British citizen.

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equitydealer
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Post by equitydealer » Wed Jan 09, 2013 7:02 pm

If the UKBA write to you to inform you that will be looking to curtail your visa you will have the option to respond, i.e. appeal the decision. While this appeal is being heard which can take many months you will remain in the UK legally, this may give you a chance to find a way out.

Wishing you all the best.

Assist_ark
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Post by Assist_ark » Wed Jan 09, 2013 7:05 pm

Cheers for that. Much appreciated

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Casa
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Post by Casa » Thu Jan 10, 2013 3:57 pm

Just bear in mind that the Citizens Advice staff don't usually have much understanding of Immigration regulations.

innocentdevil
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Post by innocentdevil » Thu Jan 10, 2013 4:31 pm

not what you would want to hear but if she is going out trying with another man, how can you sit and let her and then come back to you.

if you are only wanting ILR then I would wait, be very nice to her until you get your ILR and once you have ILR, just tell her to **** ***.

Honestly speaking, i would just let her go and find an alternative

Assist_ark
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Post by Assist_ark » Thu Jan 10, 2013 4:58 pm

Cheers for all that.
But at this rate, especially since she plans on moving out. Have I got a chance with ILR? If I'm correct, I think I'd have to show we have been living together, hold joint bank accounts (don't know how mandatory this is), pictures etc.
Was thinking if I get a job, and my job takes me far geographically speaking. Which would mean I will not be in the same address with her. Will this suffice?
Reason I just sat there and watch to be honest was because, first I was taken a back. But most importantly, because I didn't want my actions to push her further away.
The only thing I'm looking towards is the appeal process at the end of it all. I know I can appeal a visa curtail. But at the end of the 2 years, don't think there are much options available. Still looking. The working visa, from all I have gathered, would most likely require me to leave the country and apply from outside (only hope the company I'm with will be ok with all that).
So much to consider. Some serious funny bad dream.

pennylessinindia
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Post by pennylessinindia » Thu Jan 10, 2013 10:51 pm

Given your previous immigration history, the chances or curtailment would seem quite high
pennyless

Assist_ark
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Post by Assist_ark » Thu Jan 10, 2013 11:34 pm

Yh, figured. Worried about that. What about me travelling for work and having a different address to her. How will that affect the ILR application, if she decided on signing it? Which I am sceptical about.

Assist_ark
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Post by Assist_ark » Tue Apr 09, 2013 12:09 am

Ok,
I resurrected this thread since I didn't want to create a different thread for the same topic.

So, it's led to this. She's moving out. Moving i with the man. She got a job in that area. I have tried to make her reason, it only made things worse. She has decided not to help with the ILR and in fact decided to report to the UKBA (as ordered by the other man).
Now, I have approximately 4 weeks or less and I understand there's no way around this mess (or so I've been made to believe so far). What can I do? Want to plan my next move with caution.

Since she has told me she's informing the UKBA. Is it advisable to keep on working when that happens?

Also, I'm on the verge of starting a relationship with an EEA national. Explained everything and she is really cool about it all. I am definitely taking it slow with her.
Asides marriage, anyway I can work this case in my favour, that will give me an option of staying?

Cheers in advance

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